I puked a lego.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
