the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
