Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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