Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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