i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
