they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need to stop coming to work sober
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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