you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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