Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
