She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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