Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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