I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
