party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
