i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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