All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
