meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
