Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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