Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
