Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
