She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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