Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
