please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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