My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
