ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Randomize
