Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
