$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
