You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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