Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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