Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
