Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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