i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And my parents said I crawled through the house
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
