New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
