It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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