I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
