So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Life is so much better after having sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
