You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
