I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
