clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
