We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
