Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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