Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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