Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
