I didn't shave. On purpose
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
