is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
