If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
