I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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