those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
