when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
