Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
