Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
