i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
