At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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