I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
