Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Actions speak louder than pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
