They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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