They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize