When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
